The Power of A Prayer Journal

I always worry that God doesn't hear/answer my prayers. I keep thinking, I'm doing this wrong, or, I'm not asking for the right thing...my prayers are too selfish, etc. It always seems to me that I don't pray often enough, or long enough, or in the right way. And all of these may be true, but what I've learned is that God answers my prayers anyway. They're not perfect prayers but God's perfection more than compensates where I am lacking.

About five or six years ago I decided to start writing down my prayers in a journal. [I've been kind of inconsistent with this over the years, but that is irrelevant here.] I started the journal because at that time, I realized that God had answered a prayer that I'd fired off in a moment of frustration. That prayer was one of those sighs that you send heavenward in the moment, and it took several months for me to realize that that prayer had been answered. It wasn't until I faced a similar situation, and responded to it very differently, that I remembered that I'd prayed about it, and I simultaneously realized that my prayer had been answered! That prompted me to start writing down my prayers so that I could have a tangible record of what the Lord has done, and does, and is doing in my life and in the lives of the people I care about. I think this is part of what David meant when he encouraged us to "taste and see" (Ps 34).

Since then I've seen lots of my prayers, big and small be answered, sometimes in unexpected ways. Some of these were wishlist prayers -- the "God I would like" prayers that are fulfilled by tangible things: jobs and opportunities, money where needed, etc. But the ones that have blown me away are the prayers that answered needs that I couldn't properly articulate in words. Here's an example: At around age 24/25, I kept feeling like I didn't have great, solid friendships, the ones that I truly longed for. I wanted to ask God for those kinds of friendships, but the best I could come up with was, "God, make me a better friend." I have seen transformation in my friendships since then (including with friends that I had before that prayer), and those friendships have transformed my life.

Sometimes all we need to see the goodness of the Lord, is to find a way to make us pay attention. Life is busy, and we forget (or don't notice) that God is continually, consistently good. My prayer journal has been this reminder for me, and an encouragement to pray more boldly, and as specifically as I can. I've seen how God says yes, and how God says no to my requests and petitions. My prayers, written down, have taught me more about the God that I choose to serve, because I can see God's hand at work throughout my life.

Be blessed and keep praying!
Shanique

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Half Birthday

Today is my half birthday. This means that in exactly six months I'll be thirty years old. I find myself looking forward to thirty, but not in quite the same way that I've anticipated other birthdays. There is, of course, the excitement as a new year approaches, but there is too,  a sense of peace that whispers to me that my thirties will be just fine.

Like most people, my twenties have been turbulent. I've finished college and grad school, transitioned from being a student to being an employee, lived in three different states in the US. My friendships have changed too: I've made new friends and parted ways with some old ones; and of course I've had friends that have been with me through it all. At the start of my twenties all of my friends were students, all of us trying to work our way through early adulthood, today my friends are students and teachers and wives and mothers and professors and educators and business professionals and writers and dancers and so much more. As we've gone down different paths I've been constantly reminded that there's more: more people to love,  more opportunities to take, more places to go.

My twenties have shaped me into the woman I am, and helped me determine who is the woman that I want to be. They have been filled with music and prayer and dancing and reading and writing. As thirty approaches I know these things to be true in my life:

1. Community in the body of Christ is imperative. I do not want to live life without being connected to, and serving in a church.

2. Prayer is important, and God is faithful to answer our prayers. I want to be a woman who prays consistently, in every season of life, not just the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

3. Fear of failing is not a good enough reason for not trying. I've been disappointed quite a bit over this decade, about things for which I've been most hopeful, but I've been the most upset about the things that I never tried because I was too scared.
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Phil 4:12-13)

4. I want to write. I've always wanted to write. I've been unknowingly creating opportunities for myself to write since forever. I will always want to write. I want to write as a major part of my job (which I do, currently). I want to write a book. And then another book. And then more books. I understand Jeremiah's feeling of having fire shut up in his bones.

5. There's nothing more encouraging than having friends and family and mentors who believe in you, especially on those days where you don't even dare to believe in yourself.

I'm thankful for the crazy turbulence of my twenties, and I look forward to seeing what the last six months of this decade will bring. Thirties, I'm looking forward to meeting you in six months!

Be blessed and shine through it all!

Disturb us Lord

This Sunday's sermon by guest preacher Rev. Thad Austin was on David & Bathsheba. He gave me chills as he tells the story of the magnitude of David's sin, the calculated, heartless nature of his actions, and most of all David's need for God's resurrective power to restore his soul: a new heart and a right spirit within. Rev. Austin ended the service with this prayer, which I had to share:

 

That we too might realize that we need to be disturbed, our dreams too small, our horizons too near. That we might have limited God's power or forgotten it altogether. Disturb us Lord, forgive us Lord.

Be blessed and shine disturbed.

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Number 100!

Hello everyone!

Sorry that there's no Hymn-ful Sundays today, but that's because I wanted to celebrate this post as my 100th post on my blog!

So much has happened here over these first 100 posts, which took about two-and-a-half years to write:

You've seen some Bible-study-like posts, such as Humiliated, and God's Professional Laundry service, and some more reflective ones like Seasons of Worship and Chasing God. I even guest-posted for Comments on Christianity!

I've done a few blog series, like Seven Ways to Pray for Your Heart, my first Advent series, my first Lenten series, and my current Biweekly Bits series.

Recently, I've also started doing a few reviews, like the Compass Study Bible from Thomas Nelson, and Epic Grace from Tyndale. More of those are coming too!

I've changed and tweaked and updated my blog design, I've met so many other bloggers online, including the wonderful Christian Bloggers Google+ community. I've grown so much in my walk with God and in reading the Word of God.

And through it all, I've had you, my readers! And I really appreciate you reading and sharing my words and thoughts, especially those of you who have been around since my very first post. Thank you for reading!

I'm looking forward to sharing much much more with you! Here's to the next 100 posts!

Be blessed and keep on shining!

The Struggle against Complacency

In Bible study we have been studying Amos. I must admit, this is a book that I would never have thought to study in any detail, as Amos' story isn't one of the more well-known (or, in my view, compelling) ones. However, in studying this book, it has highlighted what I would argue is one of the biggest issues in modern (western) Christianity: complacency.

Biweekly Bits #2: Everyone Won't Like You

After writing 26 bits, I realized that there is so much I could elaborate on with each of my bits. So I decided to turn them into a biweekly (i.e. fortnightly) series, for the next year.

Everyone won't like you. There's nothing you can do about it. Quite frankly, you don't want some people to like you anyway. When people don't like you, it reminds you of two things: (i) you aren't perfect and (ii) people aren't perfect.

Most of us, most of the time, want people to like us. It's a good feeling, isn't it? But sometimes, they don't like us. It could be because of something that we've done, or because we hold an opposing view on an issue that they hold dear, or it could be because of something completely out of our control, things about us that we cannot change: gender, race, nationality, or family. The point is, some people won't like us, for whatever reason. This is especially hard when the people that don't like us call themselves Christians, and are part of the same body of Christ that we belong to.

However, there's a lesson in this, and an important one too -- none of us is perfect. Our imperfections are what make us clash, and they should remind us that even in church, we don't all have it all together. We all, in some way, let our pride, or greed, or idolatry, or selfishness cloud our view of the rest of the world, making us unlikable, or unable to see the good qualities in others. We are all broken people with imperfect points of view.

Yet this is what makes the body of Christ, the Christian life and walk such a wonderful thing. That through God's grace, and by His power we seek to love people, even when we don't like them. That we can love those who hate us, and set out to make our lives miserable. And that when we struggle to love these ones who are so strongly against us, we know that we can, because Christ has first loved us (1 John 4:7-21).

And don't be naive, there are definitely those who are against us. Who stand against everything that we stand for. Whose primary goal in life is to tear us down for who we are. But we are called to love them too, with that perfect love that casts out fear (1 Peter 3:8-12). For we know that God is faithful to vindicate us, and our love is like heaping coals upon their heads (Psalm 54, Romans 12:14-21).

So if someone doesn't like you, pray for them. Pray for you too, that you may be able to love them regardless of how they may (try to) hurt you. Pray that God alone may be your justice in the face of persecution. Pray that Christ's perfect love is reflected in you.

Be blessed and shine imperfectly.

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This post is also shared at CMB Fellowship Fridays!

The Greatest for the Least

As I write this, we're in the height of the Valentine's season. (Yes, it's become an entire season now.) Everyone, in some way, is talking about love. Sometimes it's with sparkling eyes and hopeful hearts, sometimes it's with tears and bitterness, sometimes it's with some other emotion. The point is, we all seemed to be focused on love.

As I write this, we're in the middle of one of the harshest winters in recent history. The Northeast has been hit by storm after storm, and it hasn't even gotten warm enough in between storms to melt the snow from the previous one. Temperatures have stayed below freezing for weeks at a time. Everyone, in some way, has been affected by this weather. Sometimes it's with frustration at canceled classes and working days lost, sometimes it's because they are fed up with shoveling snow and scraping ice off cars, sometimes it's with playful glee at the abundance of snow, sometimes it's with concern at finding somewhere warm enough to sleep at night.

As I write this, this is a time of year in which we seem to celebrate the greatest of these, but forget the least of these. That well-known verse in 1 Corinthians tells us that while faith, hope, and love remain, love is the greatest of these. Jesus tells us in Matthew 25 that the hungry, thirsty, naked and stranger are the least of these.

Unlike faith or hope, love is direct. We have faith in God, and hope for the future, but we love both God and others. I can tell others of my faith, and share with them all my hopes, but I cannot transfer these to them. My love is the medium by which I can truly illustrate both my faith and my hope. Love is what makes the difference between work, and works. We are called to clothe ourselves in love, for it creates harmony in all things together.

Love is powerful, perfect and constant. It casts out fear. It covers many sins. It is evidence that we know God. And in loving God, we are called to love the least of these: those in need around us, our neighbors.

So in this season of love, let us love not only our spouses and crushes and significant others and friends, let us also love the least of these. It may be something as small as a smile, giving directions to someone who is lost, or giving a cup of hot chocolate to the person on the street. But whatever we do, let us give the greatest of these, to the least of these. And let us do it in the name of Jesus (Col 3:17).

Be blessed and shine with love!

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The Church: Moral Voice or Hospital?

On twitter one night, a blogger friend of mine, Jason Neil Soto posed this question:

Should the church operate more as the voice of morality in society, or as a hospital for the wounded?
— Jason Neil Soto (@JasonNeilSoto) September 21, 2013

I responded to him saying that those were not mutually exclusive. The point of his question, however, was from the perspective of church programming and focus. After much thought, I have two answers to this question: both, and neither.

Living in the Moment

Part of being intentional is being able to live in the moment, being present in the every-day, here-and-now, sometimes mundane moments that make up today.

Not that we shouldn't have goals and dreams and plans, but we should never spend so much time making them, or updating them or dreaming about them that we forget to live them.

Not that we should just forget about the past, but we should never spend so much time reliving it, or reminiscing about it, or wishing that we could change it, that we forget that life is still happening all around us.

Written on His Palms

When I was little, and I wanted to remember something I'd write it in the palm of my hand. I wouldn't write just anything there, after all, space was limited. But if it was something really important to me and I wanted to recall it later, like a friend's phone number, or a drawing, or a tiny bit of information, I'd write it there. Not on a scrap of paper, lest I should lose it, but written onto my hand itself, as a momentary part of me. That way, when I looked at my hand and saw it there, I'd be reminded of this important snippet and my focus would be on it immediately.

Hope

This weekend I went to a conference designed to help me understand and learn more about what career paths are available to me once I've finished with my degree. Presenters spoke on a myriad of job areas including government, policy, business, academia, education (no, those are not the same), consulting and more. There were also workshops on resume writing, networking and other useful skills for a job search. I got a lot of great info and access to lots of resources to help me decide what I want to do next.

As I was processing the events of the day this verse came to mind:

The Bronze Basin

via

The Lord spoke to Moses: You shall make a bronze basin with a bronze stand for washing. You shall put it between the tent of meeting and the altar, and you shall put water in it; with the water Aaron and his sons shall wash their hands and their feet. When they go into the tent of meeting, or when they come near the altar to minister, to make an offering by fire to the Lord, they shall wash with water, so that they may not die. They shall wash their hands and their feet, so that they may not die: it shall be a perpetual ordinance for them, for him and for his descendants throughout their generations.

Exodus 30: 17-21

Something about this short passage about the basin for washing resonated with me when I read it a few weeks ago. I'm not sure why, but something about it just jumped out at me.

Heart Intentions

"Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Sam 16:7)

How many times have we said or heard others say "God knows my heart."? It's our defense for pretty much anything that makes us look bad. You know, our way of saying, "oh I know this doesn't look good, but God understands where I'm coming from...right?" 

Promise or Present?

I once read somewhere that you can tell if a child is likely to be financially responsible using the following test: Tell the child they can either have $1 right now or $5 in a week. The premise is that the child who opts to wait a week has a better understanding of the value of money than the child who wants the money right away.

We see a similar situation in Numbers 32 as the Israelites are on their way to the Promised Land. The Reubenites and the Gadites, having a large number of cattle and coming upon a portion of land that was ideal for raising livestock, asked Moses if they could settle there instead of crossing the Jordan and continuing on to the Promised Land (Numbers 32:1-5). They wanted to forsake the promise of God for the perceived benefit of their present situation.

True truth, pure heart

2 Corinthians 4

One of the things that I feel like God has been talking to me about is the image vs lifestyle, perception vs reality. That is to say, the difference between external projection and internal truth, and consistency between the outside and the inside. The funny thing is, God has been showing me things about this the same topic for years, but I just caught on and started making the connection. I think this is a point of my life where God is showing me what He truly desires: a pure heart, and what that really means. It sounds like a call from Him to pay attention. I think God has given me the ability to discern the true truth, but sometimes I'm too busy (or too lazy!) to pay attention to it. 

The Nine Other Lepers

I was reading the story of the ten lepers today, and I got to thinking: what happened to the nine other guys? The passage just says that one leper returned and was thankful to Jesus for healing him, and even Jesus asked where the other nine were. So I got to speculating, and I came up with nine scenarios which could have explained why the other lepers did not return. 

Parallel Relationship

I was thinking about (Godly) relationships today, and that somewhat famous passage in Ephesians stuck out  to me (as expected). Most of us are familiar with the "wives submit to your husbands", and in fact, I find that we tend to focus on it, both believers and non-believers, men and women. Many women claim that it's a sexist, male chauvinist command; many men use it as an excuse to make their women do their bidding. 

God's Professional Laundry Service

But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap. -Malachi 3:2

So, about that laundry…it piles up, doesn't it? If you're like me, and have enough clothes to go for about a month (or um, two) without doing laundry, it really piles up! The interesting thing about dirty clothes, is that individually, they are not usually offensive to the nose, but all together, piled up, they stink! In fact, clothes that didn't smell when you put them in the laundry basket absolutely reek by the time you get around to washing them! Don't make faces, you ALL know that this is the truth. Isn't sin the same way? Those things that didn't seem so bad by themselves, put all together and left to fester…ewww. And for the number of verses in the Bible that talk about being washed clean and cleansed, we don't talk about the laundering process enough! So let's ponder on this one: God's cleansing like the launderer's soap.