Biweekly Bits #20: Sometimes, you have to say no

After writing 26 bits, I realized that there is so much I could elaborate on with each of my bits. So I decided to turn them into a biweekly (i.e. fortnightly) series, for the next year.

Sometimes, you have to say no. My mother always used to tell me when I was younger that I didn't know how to say no. As a consequence, I was always too busy, and my time was over-committed, so much so that I'd catch a cold and be sick for weeks because I didn't have time to get better. But gradually, I've learned to say no (or at least, "not right now"), because I don't have time to do all these things and do them well. (See also #10).

The Christian walk, in addition to being a relationship with Christ and a religious practice is a call to serve others. Thus, as Christians, Christian women in particular, we often feel like we can never say no to others who need our help, and we end up over-extending ourselves. (Anybody else feel that way?)

However, we forget that while Christ calls us to take up our cross, and to go into all the world, and to love others as He has loved us, he has also called us to find rest in Him. Yes, my friend, there is a place in Christ for his followers to take rest. And in order to rest, sometimes, you need to say no to all of the various things that pull us in seventeen different directions simultaneously.

Saying no doesn't mean that you aren't committed to your ministry, and it doesn't mean that you are not committed to Jesus. To take time to rest does not mean that you are failing in your walk with God. Instead saying no means that you recognize your limits as a person, and the necessity of taking rest in Jesus, and taking time to spend in solitude with Him, and/or to take proper care of the body that God has given to you. Just like we rest a part of our physical bodies that have been working constantly, as part of the body of Christ, we also need to feel free to take time to rest and recharge.

Sometimes you have no. Because you don't have the time, or you don't have the energy, or you don't have the expertise. Maybe the timing is just all wrong. And that's okay. Don't let having to say no to someone make you feel like you've done something wrong, even if they try to make you feel guilty about it. Pray for the grace and the discernment to know when (and how) to say no, because sometimes, you have to. Remember that even Jesus withdrew from the crowds at times to rest and recharge.

Do you have instances where you've had to say no? Share them in the comments below, if you would like to!

Be blessed and say no sometimes!

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Review: The Mended Heart

Once again, I've had the opportunity to review a book that I received through Bible Gateway's Blogger Grid. This time the book is T. Suzanne Eller's most recent book, The Mended Heart. You can get it here or here.

The Mended Heart deals with the different ways that our hearts can be broken or hurt, and how to heal them. In this book, Suzanne deals with a variety of topics, most of which we don't openly discuss in the church: spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, sin, the death of a loved one, and more. Her words remind us of God's love and His grace through all the most difficult times of our lives. She doesn't pretend that it is easy for a hurt heart to be healed, but she reminds us that with Jesus, even the most crushed heart can be made whole again. 

Content

The book has three sections: What Jesus has already done for you, Hearts in the midst of mending, and Moving Forward. The first section is an introductory one, telling us of God's grace which saves us, and also of what that means. She highlights three things that we don't have to do once we have been redeemed by Jesus.

Each chapter of the second section is dedicated to a single broad topic, such that you could just skip or skim that chapters that don't apply to your life. The chapters have major themes, each one covering a way in which our hearts can be broken. For example, there are chapters titled "When you lose a piece of your heart" (grief), "When sin hurts your heart" (sin) and "When a thief steals your heart" (abuse/violence).

In the third section, Suzanne offers steps to move forward in the healing process. She doesn't trivialize it either. She speaks of moving forward with a momentum that sometimes requires a complete turnaround, the challenges of changing your mindset and thought patterns, and the consciousness and consequences of our choices.

Format

Each chapter starts with a story, an example of someone who has experienced hurt in a way that is relevant to the content of the chapter. Then Suzanne gives an example or story from her own life and experience. 

Mostly importantly, each chapter has a section called The Jesus Factor, which links the content of that chapter to the life of Jesus and/or New Testament principles. She uses the gospels and several of Paul's letters to highlight how Jesus is relevant even in the midst of our hurt. 

Having linked these two things together, she starts to ask the reader to relate them to her own life, and the steps that she might need to take towards healing. After that is a brief summary of the chapter, with steps to moving forward.

Following this, (and my favorite part) she offers a few reflection questions at the end of every chapter, complete with scripture verses to meditate on, prayer points, and ways to implement the lessons of that chapter through practical tips. Sometimes those things are as simple (or difficult) as talking to a trusted person about something that you have been struggling with.

Each chapter has at its very end a principle, a prayer and a challenge, which helps connect what you just read in the chapter to your own life.

Summary

The format and content of the book make it a good devotional book, which you could read a chapter per day, or better yet, per week, taking time to really reflect on the questions at the end of each chapter, as well as taking steps to actually doing things to help the healing process.

I think that while I could not personally relate to some of the themes and issues presented in the book, as it was intended for someone with different life experiences from mine, I was still touched by the way Suzanne addressed these issues, and it made for good ways to pray for others who are experiencing heartbreak in one way or another.

Be blessed and shine with a whole heart!

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He Restores my Soul

Recently these words from Psalm 23 have been on repeat in my mind. I hadn't even read the psalm recently, when the words started to play in my head. They just popped in there one day, over and over: "He restores my soul. He restores my soul. He restores my soul." 

Perhaps the reason for me hearing these words was because my soul needed to be restored. It was a high-stress time of year of me, and I was tired and frustrated. Yet somehow, just hearing those words from Psalm 23 was calming, comforting. They were a gentle breeze blowing across the dry plains of my soul.

He restores my soul.

What does that even mean?

A few weeks ago I finished reading John Ortberg's most recent book called Soul Keeping. (I reviewed it here if you want to read about it.) One of the points he made was that the soul needs to be with God. In reflecting on "He restores my soul" in that context, I got greater clarity. Yes, my soul needs to be with God, because He is its source. If my soul were an electronic device, God would be both its battery and its charger. 

My soul is restored as I spend time with God, and as I make that my focus.

And how is my soul restored? How is my soul "with God"?

• It is revived through reading God's word
• It is replenished in reflecting on God's word after I have read it
• It is rejuvenated through communication with God through prayer
• It is re-energized by moments spent worshiping God

This is where my restoration happens. These are the ways that my soul fulfills its need to be with God. This is how He restores my soul.

This restoration is two-fold, it is both active and passive. Passively, just being in the presence of God is refreshing and replenishing to my tired and world-weary soul. Actively, seeking after the presence of God, seeking His face, provides the restoration that my soul needs to continue on this journey of life.

He restores my soul tells me that I don't have the strength to sustain myself throughout this life, and that I don't have to. He restores my soul because I am dependent on Him as my source. He restores my soul, for He is strong where I am weak, and His strength is made perfect in my weakness. He restores my soul as I walk with Him, so that I am encouraged to continue walking with Him.

Yes, my soul needs to be with God, for He restores my soul.

Be blessed and shine as God restores your soul!

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40 Days of Renewal: Identity

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Renewing identity itself is a must in our process of renewal. As we have been made new creatures in Christ, we put off the old self and its desires, and become new. The renewal of our identity is for a totally different view of who we are. This renewal gives us new purpose, as we receive this new identity through our lives in Christ.

40 Days of Renewal: Spirit

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This week we focus on renewing the spirit. Our spirit is our inner nature, which causes us to thrive despite what happens to our outer bodies. However, the wasting away of our inner nature, our spirit, is sufficient to affect our entire being, both our bodies and our minds.

Hymn-ful Sundays! "As the Deer"

This week's hymn is by Martin J. Nystrom, and is another newer one (written in 1981). The format is hymn-like, but it's mostly sung as a praise and worship song. The lyrics were inspired by the words of Psalm 42.

About the writer: Marty Nystrom is an American songwriter, who has written more than 70 songs and sung as a worship leader on several albums.

40 Days of Renewal: Mind

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Our focus this week is on renewing of the mind. Whereas renewing our strength is restorative, renewing our minds is transformative. Romans 12:2 tels us that the renewing of the mind takes us from conforming to the world into an overall transformation that allows us to understand the will of God.

40 Days of Renewal: Strength

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This week, our focus is on renewing our strength. [Read the intro post here.] As we face the wilderness, in our trials and temptations, our strength is the first thing to ebb away. Life has a tendency to sap our strength away, leaving us weak and tired, and vulnerable in the face of temptation.

40 Days of Renewal: A Lenten Series

Hello everyone!

We are now into the third day of Lent! 

It's taken me a while to decide what I wanted to do on the blog to celebrate/commemorate/acknowledge this season in the Church. I knew I wouldn't be able to blog every day, but I did want to do something consistently across the season. I had a few ideas bouncing around in my head, but none of them were quite right, and I was just about ready to give up on doing anything (blog-wise) for the Lenten season.

Then I came across this post by T E Hanna (which you can read here), which talks about his plan for Lent this year as being 40 days of renewal, with a different way to be renewed each week.