Thursday, August 07, 2014

Biweekly Bits #14: A Pair of Shoes?

After writing 26 bits, I realized that there is so much I could elaborate on with each of my bits. So I decided to turn them into a biweekly (i.e. fortnightly) series, for the next year.

Marriage is like a pair of shoes. This one, interestingly enough, came from my graduate school mentor. She told me that it doesn't matter how cute or fancy they are on the outside, if you're going to wear them for a long time, they need to be comfortable (and sturdily made). I hope to make use of this bit of wisdom someday.

At 26, it seems like everyone in my life is getting married. Clearly everyone isn't, but there have definitely been wedding photos in my Facebook newsfeed every week for the past 2-3 months, and lots of engagement statuses/photos in the months before that. Not to mention the people in my life who are already married are celebrating anniversaries all over the place. [And then there's me, single as a dollar bill... womp, womp.]

However, I think this applies to any and every relationship that you'd like to last a long time: don't go for the cuteness, or the flashiness or the fashionableness, all of those external things that fade away, and are only for aesthetics anyway. What really matters when you get a pair of shoes for a long walk is that they are well-suited to your feet, they are comfortable, and they are well-made.

Anyone who has spent a long time wearing an uncomfortable pair of shoes can testify that it is not fun after a while. And you may end up with corns and bruises and sore muscles which may last quite a while after you take the shoes off. And if on your walk you come across wet or icy ground wearing the wrong shoes for that weather, you could end up seriously injured.

I guess the same wisdom can be applied to marriages. Granted you definitely should be physically attracted to your spouse, but what matters more is your spouse's character, their beliefs, and their values; attributes that, when poorly matched with yours, make for sore feet on your long walk (or a much shorter walk than you planned for).

So I guess marriage can be like a pair of shoes? Clearly the metaphor has its limits, but there's still a bit of wisdom here.

All of this shoe-talk makes me want to buy some shoes. =)

Be blessed and shine your shoes! (lol)


  1. This was a beautiful piece Shanique! You're right about bad-fitting shoes. There is nothing more uncomfortable than wearing messed up shoes. It is wise to wait on God's timing for a spouse, because HE will give you the best. One that has character, integrity, and a personal relationship with HIM. Always keep in mind that what is for you is for you, and no one will get what God has for you.


A person finds joy in giving an apt reply—
and how good is a timely word! -Prov 15:23